I'm just sad . Really.
In Malaysia, high school have classes. Students are classified based on final year exam result. If you're good, you will be in better classes with brainier classmates, and higher competitive level of class. Last year I'm in the 2nd out of 14 (if not mistaken) classes. This year I'm in the first.
Honestly brainy kids are just freaky so most of the kids in the class are just behaving weirdly. Of course in their culture I'm the freaky one because I do weird things (read, write, editing my works) and stuff. Plus my best friends are staying at the second class this year, so I'm all alone here, in the first class.
I kind of hate and love where I am now. It hurts to stuck here and feeling clueless about what to do, what to write . . . And then I figure out why is it so much that makes me feel restless, worried and stuff. It's not the class. It's not the classmates.
It's just I want to be repped. I'm dying to be repped.
I want a literary agent to represent my work to publishers. It hurts to see successful writers and I want to be one. I want to be the one that goes to book signing, fans asking about my characters, I want to be like that. It's been so long although it's not that long but, I found my dead end. What's next?
YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY.
No. Being a published author is my teenage achievement. I want to get signed by a publisher before I end high school. That's just it because, I had plans after high school. Of course I'm still going to write after high school but I want to get published before I end high school. It's just the biggest wish I had in life, like how Chester wishes for a big brother. I guess I need to wait more.
I'm so sick of writing queries. How to make it interesting? I hope you'll show me how .
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