c.o.n.f.e.s.s.i.o.n o.f a b.r.o.k.e.n h.e.a.r.t

I'm just sad . Really.

In Malaysia, high school have classes. Students are classified based on final year exam result. If you're good, you will be in better classes with brainier classmates, and higher competitive level of class. Last year I'm in the 2nd out of 14 (if not mistaken) classes. This year I'm in the first.

Honestly brainy kids are just freaky so most of the kids in the class are just behaving weirdly. Of course in their culture I'm the freaky one because I do weird things (read, write, editing my works) and stuff. Plus my best friends are staying at the second class this year, so I'm all alone here, in the first class.

I kind of hate and love where I am now. It hurts to stuck here and feeling clueless about what to do, what to write . . . And then I figure out why is it so much that makes me feel restless, worried and stuff. It's not the class. It's not the classmates.

It's just I want to be repped. I'm dying to be repped.

I want a literary agent to represent my work to publishers. It hurts to see successful writers and I want to be one. I want to be the one that goes to book signing, fans asking about my characters, I want to be like that. It's been so long although it's not that long but, I found my dead end. What's next?

YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY.

No. Being a published author is my teenage achievement. I want to get signed by a publisher before I end high school. That's just it because, I had plans after high school. Of course I'm still going to write after high school but I want to get published before I end high school. It's just the biggest wish I had in life, like how Chester wishes for a big brother. I guess I need to wait more.

I'm so sick of writing queries. How to make it interesting? I hope you'll show me how . 

before autumn

Hello everyone .

Right now I think I'm officially done editing by debut bromance novel Te Amo which is out now on Amazon. You can just search my name in the search box and find the page. Before promoting the book excessively, I had plans on continuing on the sequel, Before Autumn. Which is really hard because, the second book is plan to be a kind of diary-like book, where I need to be extremely passionate and emotional. Things and characters aren't the same -- and the second book is actually quite melodramatic.

Probably out towards the end of 2012 or early 2013, I can't really be super active in writing because I need to get my head in the game PMR; a big examination for all 15 yrs old in Malaysia. It's probably like, junior high evaluation.

So due to that imma be busy for a while. I'll be missing so many things.

Things I'll miss in 2011 is including the sweet moments I have during the elaboration of my favorite characters inside the book. It's just heavenly lovely and beautiful . I'll miss and keep loving them.

I will miss the happy moments (although less) at school. I'll miss the day when I show my friends the first Te Amo ARC and they freak out until finally they believe I'm serious in writing novels. I love that moment, so much, and will miss them.

And I'll miss watching The Running Man although I knew I will NEVER stop watching them. It's just -- I'm really scared if I'll leave them.

SO, Happy New Year or, HEPPIENUYEAHHH !