The UiTM TESL FOUNDATION Application Experience

So, I'm eighteen, am I not? That means this year it's all about the freaking college applications, so I thought I would share a few things about mine.

For those who don't know me, I love words. I mean, out of all the things in the world, playing with words is like the only skill that I have, and probably the only thing that I'm good at. I'm not good with numbers, or scientific theories; I like reading about them casually in articles and science-fiction story, but to answer them in exams is not my cup of tea. I like to read, and during good times, I love writing. When I was fourteen, I finished writing a full 90k-word manuscript, something that becomes harder and harder to accomplish as I grow up. I like books; I love collecting them, reading them, devouring them, writing reviews about them, etc. My days are usually spent by sitting alone contemplating song lyrics, or pretending I was a famous superstar doing interviews with Oprah, or daydreaming that I'm a successful professor holding a lecture about creative writing. So my dreams usually involves the field of the English language, considering that I have interest on becoming an English professor, literary editor, or anything that allows me to be paid for playing with words.

I've decided that the TESL Foundation program that UiTM has offered as the perfect opportunity for me to reach these dreams that I have. During the interview (that I may go into details later), I have spoken to the interviewer spontaneously that this course is "the perfect key that can open all the doors that I want to enter to reach my dreams." I've been researching about this course through cheeky blog posts ever since I was fifteen, and sometimes I reread them on regular basis. I tried to earn the best grade in English, and that includes attempting to ace my oral evaluation in school. When the rest of my classmates rushed to our physics/biology/chemistry teachers at every end of period to discuss molecular formula and/or any hard calculations, I chased my English teacher out to the corridor to ask about this course. I asked her frequently on whether she thought I was fit for this program, being anxious that I would never have the chance to be here. She once told me that I should stop being so paranoid and focused on my confidence if I really wanted this program.

I really, really wanted this program. It was the only college plans that I could think of before I finished high school. There weren't much people to refer to about it, being that I was in a science stream where all the teachers and classmates were mostly driven to chase science/engineering field. So I had to be on my own, listing down very limited government colleges that offered TESL, and they were very limited. Still, out of all places, UiTM is probably the only non-government university that offer a one-year foundation program for this course.

So what is TESL? It's basically initials for Teaching English as a Second Language, and most of those who have known about this course on the surface thought it's basically a course for English teachers. While that may be true, the foundation program that UiTM offer does not lock you in from other degree courses, thus forcing you to be a high school teacher your whole life! This is the main misconception of the public about this course -- if I'm a TESL student, I will only become a teacher and nothing more. This one-year pre-degree program does not specifically lead students into teaching; the students here will be learning classes like Writing, Reading, Listening & Speaking and Grammar Studies for 2 semesters. Passing this program allows these students to apply for a lot of English degree courses in Malaysian universities. In simple words, the TESL Foundation program is basically an English foundation for you if you want to go for an English degree program for a short period of time. UiTM and IIUM are the two universities that sort of offer this kind of program, being that other colleges mostly offer a 3-year diploma program for a similar course. Say, after you finish high school in December and start going for this foundation program in June the following year, you will finish a year later in June and may start going for a degree course in September. Many consider this program because it saves a lot of time (but I didn't say anything about it being easy, alright? I don't know that yet as I'm writing this. xD )

Being that it's a ticket for me to choose a lot of English degree programs in the future, I went on to pursue it. After I finished high school, I applied it as the first main choice in UPU, wishing every day that I would be selected to go to the interview. After a few months being an unemployed high school graduate, I waited and waited -- I was worried I wouldn't be called for it (I was thinking that my SPM results weren't good enough for the course, even if I had a solid A for English [I earned only 4As in my SPM]). But, in a very miraculous day, I was called for the interview, and that was one of the most victorious moments of my life.

THE INTERVIEW EXPERIENCE

See, I had never been to any interviews before. I never had a part-time job, or attending mock-interview classes, so I was a total fledgling here. In my mind, I was going to a huge superficial institute: I would be called to a scary huge office room and would be asked hard questions. I was thinking that the interviewer was a devil from hell that would try to test my emotional and mental limits. In other words, I WAS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.

The preparation for the interview was very dramatic. I read newspaper articles to prepare myself if I were to be asked about current news. I tried to write essays again to pass the written test before the interview. I went on to read interview etiquette, learn the right color for my attire, stressing out about the dos and dont's, and these preparations built up a huge wall of rules inside my head that I had almost chosen not to go to the interview. In my mind, I thought I just couldn't be easy and be myself in the interview with these rules and regulations.

But one day I kind of let it go, and just went for the interview. I tried not to think about it and pretended that I was trying in vain for this course. I forced myself to not put on too much expectations and just let myself go. I told myself that the only way to do this was to be myself and be honest, plus that's what my teacher had told me in the past anyway.

The interview was held in UiTM's Faculty of Education, or the Section 17 Campus. Since all of my family (including my parents) were dummies to Shah Alam roads and UiTM in general, we started our journey not knowing that UiTM in Shah Alam has a lot of campuses. By using the app Waze, we were stranded on the Section 1 campus first, thinking victoriously that we had successfully made our way there early. Then a security guard informed us that the faculty wasn't our right destination, we went on to more wrong campuses. Thank God we departed from our home in Kajang early in 12 o'clock while the session only started two hours later. We searched chaotically in Waze for the Section 17 campus for almost half an hour but found nothing. Then one of the security guards from one out of BILLIONS of the UiTM campuses there told us that we had to look for INTEC instead of UiTM Sec. 17 Campus. Then I searched for INTEC in Waze and voilaaa! Finally!

INTEC (UiTM Section 17 Campus)'s building block [full credit to INTEC sky page]

Arriving there about thirty minutes before the session, I was sort of surprised that the campus block didn't really seem like the big universities that I had imagined. It had a very school-like atmosphere with its buildings and long corridors -- suddenly the anxiety was soothed down a little bit. And to be very honest, I thought this was the place I would be studying at if I got in, and frankly I felt a little bit ... anticlimactic. Well, who had not imagined the big, pretty kind of colleges, right? But that didn't stop my urge to pass the interview.

In around 2 p.m., the candidates were called for the written test. It was held in INTEC's Old Library. Going into the air-conditioned room in a hot weather was a huge relief! The tables were set and we we were seated. It was a free seating based on our assigned panels. As the clock struck 2, we had to answer the 1-hour written test.

The test had two sections: 15 objective questions and 1 essay. The objective questions had to be answered by a very long passage (mine was about desertification). Then you have to answer the objective comprehension questions, and boy oh boy, I answered all of them in 30 minutes! Who am I kidding? I've never answered any English objective questions for such a long time. Now, each question requires you to reread and reread and really comprehend the lines before you are able to answer it. Alhamdulillah, I still managed to answer them without any problems. The essay was not that hard: the paper asked to write about preventing the problems of obesity, something that was very common in SPM essays, especially in Bahasa Melayu exams.

Once the test was done, each of our panels were brought to different rooms where the interview would be held. The panel that I was in had about 10 or so people, and I was the 8th person in the list. We were told to sit in the chairs in a very narrow corridor outside the room and waited for our turn. As we were waiting turns, we were told to assign all the required documents, like copies of birth certificates, etc. I met nice people there, and really bonded with them in a very short period of time. The boys who went there were surprisingly nice and very different from my classmates in high school. A lot of them had big dreams and their own purposes to be there. Some were relaxed, some had been uncertain, but all of us were nervous, I guess. Every time any member finished their turn of the interview and went out of the room, we asked them what questions the interviewer had asked, was the interview scary, etc. Each of them had different questions and all of them came out with different reactions.

Waiting for my turn, I basically talked with the rest of the members in the panel. I somehow got attached and suddenly wanted everyone there to pass the interview. I met a guy named Shazwan who was such a best-friend material for me, and after meeting him all I could think of was to pass together with him so we could go to the same college together and be bestiessss! *chuckles* Daydreaming, it was my turn, and fortunately I was more relaxed when I walked in there.

I walked into the room and the first thing I did was handing out the required documents to the two interviewers. I brought a small backpack with me to keep in the printed manuscript of the first book that I finished when I was 14. A chair was set about a few feet from the interviewers' desk, so I took the seat once I was told to do so. The main interviewer, an stern-looking Indian woman probably in her 30s, was marking my essay of the previous written test when she asked me to tell me about my background.

I breathed in and tried to speak casually. I told them about my name, where I came from, and a little bit of my family background. Then I babbled something about being the first in family to enter a language-driven course if I got into this program, and she went on to ask about what my other siblings did.

So I told her about what each of my siblings were doing: they were in automotive industry, culinary arts, environmental science, etc. Then that's when she asked me on why I decided to choose this program. (Apparently this is a compulsory question: Why do you choose TESL out of all other courses?)

I remembered of the importance of being honest, so I told her about my passion in creative writing. I told her that I had been writing since I was fourteen and had even digitally-printed out the first manuscript that I finished. This is when she asked, "Oh, really? So do you bring the book now?"

With a bright smile, I said, "Yes!" I took out the book, feeling surprised that she would ask about the book. It was a raw, unedited manuscript of mine that I sent out to CreateSpace for printing about 4 years ago (if you've read the very old, old post, yes, it was that freaking Te Amo book!). She took the book and sort of started to be amazed with its length. I was starting to worry about her checking the book out, because the grammar in there was atrocious. I told them that I wrote it when I was very young and were still naive in writing during the time, but fortunately they weren't bothered by the amateurishness of the book. They kept on asking about the book: what was the story about, how long did it take for me to write it, why did I choose to not continue on working for the story, etc. I was starting to like where the interview was going, because it seemed like a casual conversation with a random stranger and I started to get really comfortable there. I had been smiling all the time without even trying to impress them -- oddly, I was starting to feel somehow happy.

I spoke a lot in there, too. There was a point where I had thought that I talked too much, because it was exciting to discuss my dreams with a professional person that seem to understand what I want and why I want to accomplish something in life. So this is when I was asked, "How do you learn to speak well in English?"

I was very surprised by this question, and to be quite honest I was a bit taken aback by it. I knew I could speak well, but I didn't think my speaking skills were magnificent, in fact I wanted to be in the program to strengthen my skills in speaking. I didn't want to say the said matter because I was afraid I would seem diffident by doing so.

The first thing that came to mind was my habit of imitating people's behavior in my surrounding when I was a little child, so I told them about it. I told them how it all started with me imitating movie scenes playfully when I was a child despite any language -- I had once imitated the Korean language when my family watched a Korean drama back when I was very young. They sort of laughed and seemed to be pleased with this story, so I started to loosen up again. I did tell them that I didn't know exactly how I became good in speaking, but I did tell them that it took me practices from teachers and YouTube videos to be fluent in English conversations as I got older.

When the interview was about to end, the interviewer turned to the other interviewer and sort of stared at each other for quite a while, smiling. Then she whispered inadequately to the other interviewer, "Er ... do you have any questions?"

So the other interviewer turned to me and asked, "So do you read the news?"

Since I knew that this was coming, I went on autopilot for this one. I told them that I did read the news occasionally, and told them that a few recent incidents had caught my attention. I told them about me being pleased with the plans of the decrease of Internet data price, since I was an avid internet user. This had sort of made them chuckle. Then I told them how heartbroken I was for the Kenanga Wholesale City incident where a young child had fallen to death there, stating that I didn't think such crowded places were appropriate to bring young children along.

Before I left, they said thank you and told me to keep writing. I nodded and smiled, repeatedly thanking them before leaving the room. There were so many thoughts in my mind but mainly I felt positive. Even if I didn't pass this course, I thought, I knew I had tried my best. I had offered the best that I could to them, and I felt good doing it. That was all that matter at the moment.


POST-INTERVIEW

I didn't like waiting, because waiting could build up a lot of paranoia and negativity in your head.

The UPU result came out 18 days later, on 6th of May, which is two days ago from the day I'm writing this. It was, as expected, very nerve-wracking. I became dramatic again, really wanting to get into this program. My family, especially my mother, was so bothered with my doubts and concerns of not getting the course.

I used the text message service to check the application, thinking that I don't want any other courses but this one. The text message was sent in 12 a.m. and the message arrived 30 minutes later.

I swear my heart had never beat faster when I was trying to open the text message.

But when I clicked the message open: I saw it.

My work and effort in all the years had been paid. I got in.

I cried. My mother cried. It was such a victorious moment for the whole family.

Unfortunately, not everyone that I met in the panel got into the interview. When I found out that Shazwan, the nice guy that I met there didn't get in, I was completely devastated, especially since he told me to check his result since he couldn't do it at work. Telling him was the hardest part, and until now, he hasn't said anything to me yet rather than him being very disappointed about not getting into the program. He did earn another UiTM diploma program, but it seemed to me that the offer was sort of meaningless. Now I'm hoping he'll come around and move forward because deep down I know my college life would be perfect if he were to be in the same course as me. But I guess you can't always have something perfect in this world, and I should've known that way back.

As I'm writing this, I don't know when and where I will be placed in. We would be placed in either Lendu, Kuantan, Puncak Alam, or in the newest UiTM Dengkil Foundation Campus. I was rooting for Dengkil, because it was not far from home (yes, I'm sorta a momma's boy :p) and, duh, it was a new campus! The result will be out tomorrow, and I will return to update the post later.

UPDATE (9/5/2015): I got in at the Lendu campus (Alor Gajah, Melaka) temporarily until the Foundation Campus in Dengkil opens up. Alas, nobody I met during the interview got in the same temporary campus as me. *sobs*



So I write this in hope to enlighten any of you out there regarding this course. In fact, I learned so much about this program through blog posts, and I hope my experience will help some of you out there, especially if you have dreams to pursue the English language in your further education just like me.

I will try to keep you guys updated about the college life here. Now I can't tell you much since I'm still here sitting down in my pajamas writing this post while waiting for the offer letter.

It's 3. a.m. here. LOL, it took me 3 FREAKING HOURS to write this! Y'all better read every word!

Alright, time for bed. Peace out.

Bang The Comeback

Wow, it has been years!

How swift times pass! And in between the years I made this blog, of course, I earn so much experience. Just deciding to revive this blog has proven me that I change so much with time, because by reading some of dem old posts, I might have just chosen to eradicate this piece of shit by removing the blog. LOL.

However, it feels good to write, so I think I will choose to let this blog stay. With writing sometimes comes exhilaration, and with that hopefully writing out the reflections of my life may help me to soothe myself. Just to commit in writing your daily stuff may seem so easy, but it is not. So let's see where this ride is taking me.

I wrote here in the past three years, and in these years there are a lot of changes occurring within me. I may have gain more bravery to be myself, to speak out my thoughts in public, to show my vulnerabilities and my flaws with no shame like I had never been when I was fifteen. A three-year experience may differ when you're changing from twenty to twenty-three, but a shift from the age of 15 to 18 does have its stories. Now that I am on the journey to embark on a life from an angsty teen to a full-grown adult (hopefully), I hope I can get to fluctuate out my tale here.

I can't wait to write again. Whoever you are out there, hello again. I'm Izzat Zainal, and I'm ready to spit my shit. If the room's too hot feel free to get out of the kitchen, but if you're on for a spicy, candor and nasty truthful taste of life, put on your seatbelt and let's crash.

Sincerely,
I.Z.

The Global Hunters

Yes, it's ugly. I made it up.

So, I've been working on books for so many years, and after my scribbles/book Te Amo has been turned into a physical copy, there aren't no story that I can expand to become a full-length novel. But there are characters and worlds I want to elaborate, and this is an attempt.

So guys, writing one story doesn't mean you can stick to them and finish them. Sometimes you know you won't be able to figure out what's going to happen, and that's happened to me for this story. But if this became a book, it would be wonderful because I am still falling in love with the world my mind has created. And I know where this will lead if it really becomes a book, but I still have doubts on actually completing this.

So yes, it's The Global Hunters--my dream book. If I really wanted to get published, this is the book. This is it. It's not something I am sure I will finish, but now I thought I can share it with you guys. So please, please check it out.

Here's the summary:

"When he found out a group of terrorists are searching for him in his boarding school, fifteen-year old Jamie O'Neil know that he's in danger. That's when he discovered that his family belongs to the society of The Global Hunters--the biggest society of specially-trained secret agents in the world.

Instead of learning about the big part that he belongs to by words, Jamie confusingly participate in The Apprentice Program--the newly invented initiation process for the Hunters to get certification as the society's secret agents' apprentices. With a half-brother that ruined his life, he unravels both new and old things about the society as the Pioneers of the program, and menace starts to attack from every direction."

Click here to read the story.

 

Excitement Overload

 Oh. My. Four.

Okay, this will be a hard time. I'm stuck in between Insurgent and folios. I mean--it's just so annoying. Being in Form 3 really is a hard thing.

But that will never stop my rebelling urge to just finish this book as soon as possible and review it. And I have LOTS to read after examination:

1) Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
2) City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare (ugh--I don't know if I'll buy this book)
3) Matched by Ally Condie
4) Switched by Amanda Hocking
5) Torn by Amanda Hocking
6) To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
7) The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan
8) The Highest Tide by Jim Lynch

THIS IS A BIG MAYBE . . . I GUESS:

9) Meg by Steve Alten (UH-DAAAAA, this is a GREAT, GREAT, BOOK!)
10) The Last Siege by Jonathan Stroud

INSURGENT--on page 238 so far. Oh my GOD, this book is awesome. Action lies on every page! It's like that movie where Tom Cruise kick asses and Jason Statham's shooting guns!

NEW HAIR AND STUFF

I DON'T KNOW . I HATE MY NEW HAIR . BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I LOVE IT .

I don't know. What do you think?


And in countdown moment of INSURGENT, I'll re-share my DIVERGENT review

Beatrice and Katniss

Yeay! Today I'm going to write a post to extract all these inappropriate excitement I have for the upcoming Divergent sequel, which is named Insurgent.

I've sort of participated in Veronica Roth's INSURGENT ARC and yeah, like all odds I always lose. But it's okay, it will be fun to crash the bookstore and kicking asses to get that thing. Yeah, literally, I am serious on the kicking-ass part. I think everyone will be crashing into the bookstore for the book. And I will love to do that.

I hope you know that DIVERGENT has been my most favorite read in 2011, and it reached #1 on my favorite read and #2 is The Host. Well, I guess I never reveal that. I also read THE HUNGER GAMES in 2011, but I wonder why I do not have that hype like I had when reading Tris.

So after the phenomenal success of the trilogy, dystopia books are increasing. Many authors love to create bad governments with cruel and inhuman rules in their country, and things are just too much now. Well, thanks to the three books of the Games that revived this genre. Dystopia had once been famous before our YA-hood and the books are such The Running Man by Stephen King or 1984 by George Orwell.

The Hunger Games has become the third literary phenomena after Harry Potter and Twilight. But what's cool is The Hunger Games is unique in its own way -- really, really bad government, a girl who rebels on live TV and a hectic slash crazy citizens of Panem. When I first read them, I didn't know if I was feeling good about it. I guess I was depressed because we were following Katniss on her journey through the pages of the book, but it was amazing when she was fighting strongly, lit a fire that sparks the rebellion to stand up fiercer and then the trilogy ends. After the end, we felt astonished and amazed. Like, "Oh my God, she's freaking a teen and she changed the world!"

It is not real. It's fictitious, but dystopia gave readers a realistic impact. We couldn't sleep in the progress of reading these books. We was thinking about our characters, hoping that their strength would multiplied, and there were lots of other things that made dystopia a really, really realistic fiction genre. And why Young Adult loves it, especially the ones who are still in high school? Yes, because high school seems like a dystopian world.

Then DIVERGENT is released. It is a dystopian thriller, and in comparing The Hunger Games to this book, I was trapped inside this book deeper because the characters are high school characters, and what's cool the bad ruler of this world is among of young adults.

The book is basically about a society divided into five factions classified for selflessness, peacefulness, honesty, intelligence and bravery. It's a compulsory rule for every sixteen-year old to choose their factions. And they will undergo aptitude test that will show them the most fitting faction for them, but the test will not change their choice. You may choose to stay with your family, but if you found you are bored with the faction you are born to, you may leave them eternally.

So if you find bravery's cool and you can't initiate to what they do (jumping on moving trains, shoot a gun on someone you love, jump off from a tall building, climb a moving ferris wheel), you'll fail the initiation and you'll be thrown from the society, and you are the factionless, and factionless people live in poverty.

Beatrice is sixteen. In her test, she's fitting to more than one faction, and that makes her a Divergent. Divergent is secretly dangerous, and she must keep her Divergence low.

Well, she still has to choose her faction, doesn't she? Living for sixteen years in her faction Abnegation that makes selfless as priorities, she feels as if her freedom is stolen completely and she left to the Dauntless, a faction for bravery. That's when she meets new people and she was exposed to dangerous plan of one of the bad factions in the society that tried to shatter the slightly insane world and make it more ridiculous. And yeah, she will try to stop the plan.

When I reread THE HUNGER GAMES for the movie, I started to feel that I love Beatrice more. In Catching Fire, I was devastated of Katniss who couldn't actually see or make a good choice. She seems to always follow what people had told her to do, and it was hard for Katniss to stay put and do things based on her heart. That's because she didn't have a good heart to choose, to decide, and all she did was what from the others' heart. The most devastating thing that I saw in her is her weakness in choosing between Peeta and Gale. If she's a brilliant girl, she'll see that there's no point of being in love and felt torn between the two like how Bella feels between Edward and Jacob. She'll know that Gale was more like her older brother, her companion, her strength, and she'll see that Peeta is her only trustworthy friend, a worthy lover and someone who always stay by her side no matter what happens. But she didn't see that.

Beatrice Prior, she goes to bravery by her heart. She meets Four, and she do love him, but that's not the main point in her story and there's a bigger picture that she wanted to show us other than his relationship with the guy. She never regret of whatever she'd done, like how she left her family and go to another faction, on how she fix her strength to through the rest of the initiation. She's a calm girl, she never torture herself even whatever happens to her. And what's best, she knows who to love, and she knows why, and she knows what to do.

So in conclusion, The Hunger Games is a phenomenal story, and the world is way far brilliant than Divergent, obviously. But to me, what's important in a book is the storyteller. Katniss's strength was massively amazing and it's mostly is a form of physical. Beatrice has a strength of heart, which honestly, I don't think Katniss actually have. Tris's strength of heart that makes her believe that she'll be strong wholly, ultimately. So Beatrice Prior is my choice if to compare with Katniss Everdeen.

So, Happy Abnegation!

School's Literary Week and AIN MAISARAH's book signing!

PHOTO CREDITS to Amirun Afiq, an amazing photographer-slash-buddy

I'm writing this post at nighttime . . .

So, I have a lot to tell you today. Last Tuesday, it's a legendary day as the FIRST local author came down to my school and done a book signing slash talk there.

Well, it sounded enthusiastic, eh? But actually that's not the point here now. I wanted to talk about what a terrible day that day went for me.

Apart from the day before when an idiotic barber cut my hair until it became almost like an alien version of Chad White, being late to school (EXTREMELY) and realize I missed a lot at school, things going down like a roller-coaster to me that day. Becoming emotional, fussy, extremely confused about things, that day had almost become the worst day in my life since 2012 starts.

It's almost a good news to me when a popular local novelist AIN MAISARAH is about to make a visit at my school.

Ain Maisarah is a young novelist, writing books from age ranges 10-16 (I guess) and her books are usually contemporary teen books. She wrote the Aku Mahu . . . (English: I Want To . . .) series which is extremely popular among young girls. The books inside the series are included Aku Mahu Popular (I Want To Be Popular), Aku Mahu Saiz S (I Want An S-size Clothes) and the rests of I Want . . .and she wrote books under a publisher where it receives books about teenage friendship. And that publisher is PTS Publications.

I watched a local reality-TV Nona some time ago and her interview was aired from her home. If I was not mistaken, her husband was interviewed and he told about how she'd start writing. Before she got married, her husband received a love letter from her and he noticed how talented she is in writing. After marriage, her husband manages her writing time, and what she should do in writing. Her writing became wildly successful in Malaysia and she's currently on tour around Malaysia to local schools in having some talks and book signing.

That's a little about her. So, on the 10th of April she came. Yeay! Amazing! I was super excited although I read none of her books, but at least a writer, A WRITER, came down and gave a talk about writing. As you know, I am always interested in writing, and writing to me is a part of MY LIFE. Half of my soul, writing is my life, my therapy, and when I write words, it can be a remedy to any internal pain I felt.

So before the book signing started, I sat and listen attentively to her talk about her writing life. And devastatingly, I was disappointed.

Well, she's amazing. But she was promoting writing in a way of businesses. She told us how profitable writing could be, convincing us that each one of us can write excellently, and earn profits for our future. In the talk, she stated some young authors who got signed by a publisher at a very early age, like Riha Jamil, who published Gadis Piano when she was fourteen if I'm not mistaken (Gadis Piano, English: Piano Girl). And she stated her profits, how much she earned and she promoted writing to us like it was the easiest way to earn money.

So, that's that, and I have my story. I came up during recess to see her manager and talked to him a little about publishing in Malaysia . . . which I researched slightly deep and knew that Malaysia have this one policy where they can only trust foreign authors or imported books for English fiction. I know that. And he repeated that. He offered me writing in Malay in teen contemporary genre by posting a query to one of PTS editor and wait for a respond AND THEN, I can start writing.

And this is my opinion . . .

After the book signing, kids who knew about me self-publishing my first 100,000 words mediocre YA Te Amo urge me to write and earn profits like how Mrs. Ain Maisarah suggested them. If I am following the track, I'll break some cultures I have in writing such as:

1) IF YOU WANT TO GET PUBLISHED, SEND A BRIEF SUMMARY TO PTS EDITOR, WAIT FOR A RESPOND OF EITHER REJECTION OR APPROVAL, AND THEN I SHOULD WRITE.

This is so awful. I do not do this in writing.

I write every day, and I write always and if I feel it was a broken writing, I'll stop. I'll keep writing the story if it felt inspiring and good for me. After I done halfway, I will do an editing, where I'll keep the writing in a pristine quality and then I rewrite the stupid lines that I did.

If I wanted to get signed by PTS, I must send a brief summary to one of the editor via e-mail. And if the story sounds interesting to him, he'll approve and THEN I'LL HAVE TO WRITE THEM. How if I, as the author, felt like that story didn't hit the point, the whole big picture on why I started to write the story? And I will not like it, that means I do not wish it will turn into a book. So that's that.

Different from publishing in U.S., I must complete my work, send a query to literary agent, and then if he/she wants to represent my work, that's quite a green light. I'll have a chance to edit my work. I'll have chance to improve my query. And it's in my hands if I wanted to proceed in making the story comes alive. Not the editor.

2) WRITE BECAUSE IT LET YOU EARN MONEY. WRITE BECAUSE OF CA$H. WRITE BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE DOLLARS TO SPENT WHEN YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE.

I write because I love doing it. It is a part of my life therapy, where it builds up confidence, builds up new friends for me in substituting some a$@$ole in school where it doesn't functioning at all. And I write because that's what I do, the biggest ability I have in my life that I have interests in developing and I love it.

In an interview in Oprah, I knew that when Rowling is publishing Harry Potter when her agent said that she'll never make money by writing children's book. Rowling ignored those words, and published Harry Potter. It was clear that J.K. Rowling didn't care for cash. And that's what we have in common. I don't care about the cash. Of course I need money, but in writing, that's not what I'm chasing. I believe that in having sustenance we have to pray and put effort on a goal, and if we chase sustenance we'll earn nothing as it flees away from us.

I do not see cashes and dollars beyond the words I wrote.



To conclude, I am picking the AgentQuery way in getting publish. I was told many times to write Malay books because I will not go anywhere writing in English. Because my country imported English fiction, from foreigner authors. Yep, that's true.

So this post is to my friends who always asked me and convince me to stop writing in English and in YA genre such what's popular right now, because I will not go anywhere. Yep folks, Malaysia imported English books from foreign authors. So I have no choice, but to become a foreigner author.

I have to write, edit, read, polish my writing, write a query, polish a query, polish my writing, and submit my query, pray to get signed. I am a local author, who had no choice but to find an outsider publisher to get publish. And what's devastating is, IF I'm signed, my books will be in a high price here in my local bookstore because my book is still an "imported books by a foreign author" while I am a Malaysian author, and my books should belong here.

And I will show my country I'm capable of doing it. It's a matter of time.